Expressing our Feelings
Our emotions are not always fun to deal with, especially if they are negative, like sadness, anger, envy, etc. However, emotions are how we interact with the world and truly understand how the world impacts us. For example, you could not truly love something or someone if you did not have emotions. You would just be indifferent toward your favorite human, food, etc. You wouldn’t even know you had a favorite anything.
Emotions are not bad. You just struggle with how to express them in healthy ways. That is when they become very unpleasant. When I was younger, I got angry and threw one of my new toys on the ground. The new toy broke. I was still angry, but now I also have shame and sadness over breaking a new toy. Breaking the toy did not help me with my anger. That solution to my emotion only made things worse.
There are of course lists and lists of unhealthy ways to deal with emotions (breaking things, using substances, overeating to point of sickness, harming the body, etc.), but there are also healthy ways, too. These more healthy options allow us to acknowledge our emotions, feel them, deal with them, and move on. These healthier coping mechanisms do not create more negative feelings for us. We are looking for solutions that bring our intense feelings back down to a manageable level. We are looking for ways to calm us, bring us peace, and help us breathe. The following list is not exhaustive, but it is a starting point. Just pick one and give it a try.
-Mindful breathing -Napping -Sitting outside
-Walking or other low-intense movements -Journaling -Gardening
-Painting or Creating something -Listening to or playing music -Sipping herbal tea
-Reading -Cooking a favorite meal -Praying
Again, the list above is not exhaustive, but I hope you saw some common features of a healthy coping mechanism can and should have. 1) A healthy coping mechanism involves the whole person (mind, body, feelings, soul). 2) A healthy coping mechanism focuses on another part of the person to help balance the emotional state (i.e., thinking or doing). 3) A healthy coping mechanism is not destructive, but often helps one create something.
Emotions do not have to be a part of us that we stuff in a box and try to forget about. Emotions help us enjoy and live our lives in meaningful ways. We just need to learn how to handle our emotions in a healthy and productive way because our emotions are a part of who we are. We need to make friends with our emotions so that we can become the people we were created to be.
